ICYMI: #TrumpBookReports meet Middle-earth

Tr-mp in the final debate was bigly horrifying, should’ve been important, and yuge, but he was weak. Sad!

So if he loses, maybe he’ll disappear, but I truly fear that his biggest contribution will be to alter the English language. More and more people are adapting his braggadocious terminology in sarcastic ways — I’m sure you’ve heard it among friends, classmates, and colleagues, who are suddenly saying and/or writing “yuge” about the mundane things.  A high school reunion was touted on FB as “it’s gonna be huge. It’s gonna be phenomenal. The other classes all wish they could have a reunion this great, actually.” This mock braggadocio *is* fun, but will it go away when Tr-mp is no longer on TV everyday? Or will it linger, and the sarcasm end, and it will become an embedded and accepted part of language, with its users in a few years forgetting its origins?

For book-lovers, one of the best things to come out of this endless campaign are the #TrumpBookReports on Twitter. Lots of people have written about To Kill a Mockingbird (“I could stand in the middle of 5th Ave & kill a mockingbird and not lose votes” from @LemonsandLaughs), Death of a Salesman (“I prefer the salesmen who DON’T die” by @dreamweasel), and Shakespeare plays (“Hamlet? Such a disaster. Can’t decide to be or not. Bigly indecisive. And Ophelia? Not my first choice.” by @KDanielGleason).

My favorites, though, deal with “Lord of the Rings,” because I could never see Tr-mp reading the books, many of the jokes are very insidery, and it proves Junot Diaz’s theory in his brilliant novel “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” that one of the best lenses upon which to make sense of a dictator’s evil is “Lord of the Rings.”  Considering how much has been written and said about Tr-mp as being not only a bully and a strongman wannabe, but also authoritarian, the connection seems apt for this period of the political campaign.

With that in mind, here is a curated selection of #TrumpBookReports featuring “Lord of the Rings.”

https://twitter.com/chelsealindsay/status/789238355653332992

https://twitter.com/CharlieAndyFitz/status/789114469351698432

https://twitter.com/JustinDVaughn/status/789254705931177984

https://twitter.com/mind_butter/status/789252426842906624

https://twitter.com/mrglenn/status/789242913397932032

https://twitter.com/IdrisAdamjee/status/789228735547346945

https://twitter.com/Gonzo_Ed/status/789179335777267717

What DJT meant to say (an edited transcript)

I’ve never said I’m a perfect person, nor pretended to be someone that I’m not. I’ve said and done things I regret, and the words released today on this more than a decade-old video are one of them.

Anyone who knows me knows these words don’t reflect who I am. I said it, I was wrong, and I apologize. I’ve traveled the country talking about change for America, but my travels have also changed me. I’ve spent time with grieving mothers who’ve lost their children, laid-off workers whose jobs have gone to other countries, and people from all walks of life who just want a better future. I have gotten to know the great people of our country, and I’ve been humbled by the faith they’ve placed in me. I pledge to be a better man tomorrow and will never, ever let you down.

Let’s be honest — we’re living in the real world. This is nothing more than a distraction from the important issues we’re facing today. We are losing our jobs, we’re less safe than we were eight years ago, and Washington is totally broken. Hillary Clinton and her kind have run our country into the ground.

I’ve said some foolish things, but there’s a big difference between the words and actions of other people. Bill Clinton has actually abused women, and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed and intimidated his victims. We will discuss this more in the coming days. See you at the debate on Sunday.

Transcript from NYTimes.com.

New poem ‘That Day in Assisi’ just published

Thank you, The Ekphrastic Review, for publishing my poem!

You can read it here: http://www.ekphrastic.net/ekphrastic/that-day-in-assissi-by-michael-janairo

It is inspired by this painting:

zlot057h

 

 

 

A new story published by We Love Books & Company

Thanks to Ray Ortali for publishing my latest short story, Auntie Lovely Says Goodbye, in his eMagazine, We Love Books & Company, which you can download here.

Submittable and the neurotic writer

As many writers know, there are all sorts of way submissions of stories and poems to journals and magazines get submitted. Few places take postal mail. Lots of places take email. Most, though, take neither and use some kind of online form, such as Submission Manager, or Submittable.

Screen Shot 2016-02-27 at 12.27.34 PMHere’s the thing about a service like Submittable: You get to see whatever you have out in the world awaiting a judgment in one fell swoop.

Once a piece of writing has been submitted, the first status you see is “Received.” This status brings  writers a glorious sense of satisfaction, accomplishment and peace — for all of about 10 seconds. Then, as the days, weeks, and months (yes months) crawl by, and that status “Received” keeps saying “Received,” the writer begins to wonder, “Why are they ignoring me?” or “How can they let my work just sit there?” All a writer wants is a chance and some acknowledgment. “Received” comes to mean more than being ignored; it means you don’t have a chance (yet) and you aren’t being acknowledged (yet). “Received” can be very frustrating.

It should get better when a status changes to “In-Progress.” The first sight of it does produce of frisson of excitement — someone’s reading me! However, that can be quickly replaced with a sense of dread — someone’s reading me!

That second feeling persists, though, as the status remains “In-Progress.”

What happens next may not seem fair, or wonderfully fair. If the writing is “Accepted” or “Declined” (or if it is “Withdrawn” by the author) that status doesn’t appear — at least if the writer is looking only at the submissions that are still “active.” Of course,  you could switch tabs and look only at the “Accepted” writing — and if there’s a new one, the one that had just disappeared from the “active” list, then much celebration can ensue. Or you could look at the “Declined” list, and, if the new one is there, instead, I suppose the opposite of much celebration will then ensue.

No matter what, though, Submittable is supposed to make tracking writing submissions easier — and it removes what in the pre-Internet days was just months of months of not knowing until a SASE returned. Now there are statuses that can appear frozen in place for months and months, and each one can fill a writer with various levels of anxiety and dread.

 

 

A new story on 50-Word Stories

Yes, the story is exactly 50 words long. That’s it.

You can read it here: http://fiftywordstories.com/2015/12/16/michael-janairo-whats-on-the-menu/ 

Take a look, click on the “Like” button, and come back and let me know what you think.

Plårk, plårk, plårk

My wife has created a new word: plårk.

It could rhyme with “park” or “pork” — either way seems to be fine.

She has the word printed on T-shirts that she gives to her first-year drawing students. The idea she is trying to impress upon them is that making art is a combination of “play” and “work.” Thus, “plårk.”

I imagine the word being used as follows:

  • “This assignment is plårk.”
  • “Did you plårk yet today?”
  • “Yeah, man, I plårked earlier today, and I’m going to be plårking later with some friends.”

I suppose a sample declension would look something like this:

  • I plårk. I plårked. I am plårking. I have plårked.
  • You plårk. You plårked. You are plårking. You have plårked.
  • They plårk. They plårked. They are plårking. They have plårked.

She says that in every class period at least one or two (sometimes more) students are wearing their “plårk” T-shirts.

With about 50 students a semester, maybe in a few years the word will be in common usage by scores of young artists, plårking their way through the world.

What do you think: Will plårk catch on?

 

Where I’ve Been: Part 2 — In Class with Lydia Davis

For five weeks, on Tuesday nights in October and the beginning of November, I’ve spent a few hours in a room at the University of Albany with a few fellow writers and the multiple-award winning writer Lydia Davis.

My classmates — all published writers — were talented and well-spoken, even if a few weren’t as gregarious as others.

Speaking of gregarious, Lydia encouraged all of us to track metaphors in are daily lives — to include them in the things we overhear and read as part of our writer’s diaries — and that common abstract words like “gregarious” were derived from metaphors, because the word stems from a Greek word for “herd.”

As for what to include in our writer’s diaries, Lydia suggested that she writes “whatever goes into my mind that interests me.”

Most of the class was a writers workshop, reading fellow writers’ stories-in-progress and talking about them, which is always interesting to me. And we got to know each other by sharing what we’ve read in the past year — and that “reading diary” moment generated a long reading list for me.

In terms of talking about the craft of writing, Lydia shared what she called five different kinds of narration, which she wasn’t sure if she had ever seen before but thinks she may have made up as a way of taking a writerly approach to reading to discover what a writer was doing in certain passages (and how a reader may want to make use of those moments in his or her own writing).
These five categories aren’t anything new, but they offered a practical way of reading:

1. Action: characters do things
2. Comment: a reflection on something from a point of view
3. Description: things shown through sensory detail
4. Dialogue: characters talk
5. Exposition/back story: things get explained, or histories get filled in

It was all good stuff, and I enjoyed my fellow students’ writings immensely.

So even though this all came right in the crush of the new website I have been working on, I’m glad I was able to take part. And it was free, courtesy of the New York State Writers Institute.

Haiku movie reviews, May 2015

Ex Machina (2015)
A hot bot twists minds
As it takes the Turing test
High-tech interlude